To me it's the
oddest sensation
when you realize
that something
you've thought about
and anticipated
for a very long
time is
finally
here.
A mixture
of butterflies
and joy.
When you are little, it's
Christmas morning
or the beginning of
summer vacation ~
You simmered impatiently.
And then, it was time.
That long-cherished idea
of going to Disney World
or Hawaii.....
Graduating from high school
or college.....Your wedding day.
The gift of a dream,
suddenly made real.
I wanted a daughter
as long as I can remember.
Even though I was
a child of the Women's-
Lib era, encouraged
to look beyond traditional
gender roles in society,
I always
always
knew that I wanted
to be a mother.
Even at age ten
when I played
house with my BFF,
I cradled that daughter
who I'd have someday
in my heart ~
And though her
perfect name changed
over the years,
the idea of her
did not.
When we got married
our plan was to wait
five years; to work and
save before having a
baby. That said, if my
hubby had come home
a year into our marriage
and said Let's throw
the plan out the window,
I'm ready to be a dad,
I'd have been on board.
We followed our plan.
God had other plans.
Five years.
Six years.
Seven years.
After eight years of marriage
and years of honing my patience,
I woke up to labor pains and the
realization that the waiting
was nearly over.
My daughter's birthday, so
far out in the future my entire
life, was finally here.
And now she's 16.
This week she boards a plane
for a ten-day trip to Italy with
a group from her school.
We've been making monthly
payments for this trip for over
18 months. It seemed so
far away at that first informational
meeting. Her dad and I were nervous
about launching our girl so far
out into this big world, but
confident that by then,
we'd be ready.
Not sure I'm ready.
The suitcase is packed.
The walking shoes have
been tested. Euros secured.
Paperwork done.
That day she's been
dreaming about,
nearly here.
So fast.
Too fast.
So arrivederci, my baby,
my someday....
my gift of a dream
that came true.
Fly.
xx
Suzanne
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