Scared of heights

So I am in the big chair in the living room in the sun....the house is empty for the first time in 4 days and the only thing running is the refrigerator and the toilet in the powder room (just a sec, it's driving me nuts)...OK....the thot just came to me that it would be lovely if every problem could be fixed by jiggling something...ohhhh I could run with that but I must stay focused.

So the time for another scan is fast approaching. I think this time there will only be the one...the PET CT.....the scan of scans....the fasting, IV'ing, injecting, sitting still for an hour, drinking the room temp.grayish purple glop, then going into the circle thing for 45 minutes while iodine mixes with your blood and makes you feel like you have wet yourself, scan. It does give you the full story however....head to toe if there is cancer in there it glows. It catches even the earliest stuff....so for that I am grateful.

This scan will let us know if the new medicine has worked. What a joyus or horrible day that will be....so therein lies....well, lots of things.

I know I want to feel peace over this....I mean it would seem dumb not to want peace about it. But it’s like I am standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and peace is about 28.5 inches away from the edge (the exact length of my arm plus 1/4 in.) and I just have to lean that little smidge and a voice echos thru the canyon that everything will be ok and I can go ahead and grab it but I still can't decide if it's worth the risk...then next thing you know the bush next to me catches on fire and it begins to speak and says "Laurie, everything will be ok...take the peace" and I STILL don't know if I can.....and I look down and see that the river below has parted and there are some campers that are walking across the dry river bed and the voice says..." How about now?" and I still am not sure....

So because I am soooo scared of heights, I am going to close my eyes, lean a bit, hope I measured my arm correctly and reach for the peace. Yikes!